The Primordial Conservative

So as I was sitting here pondering what really has my goat I am drawing a blank generally. After spending a great weekend with by beautiful, sweet wife I am having a difficult time getting really bugged about anything. So browsing through FoxNews.com I see "The entire Jon Stewart Interview" So I watch that, and... Yeah, that did it...

Redefining Rape

So the pro-abortion crowd is all a-tizzy over the crazy idea that rape should actually have a specific meaning.  It seems that the term “Rape” has thus far existed in a morass of wonderful ambiguity.  Until now those beacons of feminine equality have enjoyed unfettered discretion in regard to what they wanted the word to mean on any given day.  You see the word rape at one time in antiquity meant a man forcing himself upon a woman or girl.  Well that you see, was really just too restrictive.  It was really just too un-ambiguous. So, over time the word has conveniently and wonderfully become quite pliable and useful for most any agenda.

Put Up Or Shut Up

 

I have a proposal. To all of you “Save the earth-ers;” To all of you global warming, Tree hugging, Spotted Owl and Caribou saving, windmill lovin enviro-nuts. I have a very simple proposal: Put up or Shut up.  Just that – show me a VIABLE magic fairy dust alternative to our abundant and inexpensive natural resources of oil and natural gas. You have treated us for decades now to your constant and incessant nonsensical blather about everything not-oil, and yet what have you produced that can VIABLY replace it?  You have squeezed out bajillions of state and federal dollars for your myriad schemes and virtually all of them have proved to be majestically expensive failures. Many of these happy thoughts powered “alternative energy schemes have ultimately proved more environmentally devastating than the evil oil that they were supposed to be saving us from.

Magic Fairy Dust

So I am having the old Alternative Energy debate with my favorite Greenee. She is getting bugged and unleashes the usual ad-hominem attack: "You only look at information from one side. If you would have a more open mind and really look into both sides with an open mind you would have a different opinion."  Well my response to that is that I have an expert on the subject a phone call away that I have known for more than 40 years. This expert on the subject goes to every Magic Fairy Dust Alternative Energy Symposium available. She can probably quote me every windmill, solar, and kitchen grease diesel talking point there is. Yep I have learned everything necessary about alternative energy from my Greenee friend. My primary question is whether any of these "New Technologies" are economically viable.  She has argued vehemently over many years that several of these are indeed so.

When YES means NO.

Person A and Person B get drunk and have sex. Both are quite drunk. There is a claim made that A was “Too drunk to form proper consent” thus was raped by B. B also claims to have been “Too drunk to form proper consent” and was thus raped by A. Who, if any was raped?

So what does “Too Drunk to Form Proper Consent” mean? Well I will cut and paste the exact words from a complaint about legislators’ attempts to actually define the word: “…under the influence of alcohol.” Yep, if she had anything to drink, he is a rapist. How cool is that?  So, yeah, you know me… can’t leave well enough alone – I have a couple of teensy weensy questions.

Killing George

So George was fulfilling his church duties peacefully one Sunday morning as an usher in the church, greeting all warmly, helping them to their seats: a beacon of Christian love and warmth. In his day job George was a renowned physician, aiding women in great need from all over the country, and beyond. George had even baptized many babies himself. To many it seems almost inconsequential: the fact that George first killed all of these babies before baptizing them.We'll never know if George was thinking of the thousands of babies he had killed as the peaceful Sunday morning church service was suddenly interrupted by Scott Roeder who calmly walked up and shot George Tiller in the eye, removing all such musings from his mind forever, at least in this world.

Liking Barack

I for one am getting just a little sick of hearing that although Barack Obama’s performance polls are in the tank, his personal likeability numbers are still quite high. Frankly I don’t really think Barack Obama is a very nice guy at all. But that’s probably just because I am a racist: after all, I am white and the only reason to dislike Barack Obama personally is because one is racist, right? Uh… no.
And as the Obama Camp and his sycophants (mainstream media) seem to be hanging their hopes of him continuing to reside at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue for the next four and ½ years on him being a nice, good, and likeable guy I think it appropriate to examine that.

You Go Alan!

So the Gop is outraged at Alan Graysons 3rd grade-esque school-yard taunts and fiery un-statesmanlike rants?   I say let him speak.   As a matter of fact if it were up to me I would assign a film crew to do nothing but follow him around and have a microphone in his face every possible moment.  My only question is who can we get to play Beevis? I would make him famous - The face of the Democratic party.  For there was rarely anything more aptly said than that: There is nothing worse you can do to a fool than to let him speak.  You Go Alan!

Trusting Tim

Hey I was worried for quite some time about the absurd amounts of money that we have been borrowing from China. They seemed to be increasingly nervous about extending us more credit. And Moody's, those guys that actually establish the worlds credit ratings; They have directly warned in no uncertain terms that our credit rating is at risk if we continue as we are. Many countries that have lent us money in the past have stopped doing so. Economists everywhere within our country and around the world are feverishly sounding alarm bells to anyone that will listen. Pundits and politicians from the far left, to the far right are wringing their hands and predicting dire consequences of continuing to race obliviously toward the cliff.  It's all enough to give one anxiety attacks. I was becoming extremely worried until recently reassured by our peerless Tim Geithner.

A Special Place In Hell.

So John Murtha has finally come up against the only real Congressional Term Limit... Finally.  Rumor has it that he left a note saying that:

"in case anything went wrong it was not an accident but a conspiracy by a bunch of marines that sneaked into my room and killed me while I slept, peacefully dreaming of how to get reelected by my ignorant, racist, red-neck constituents."

 By the way - gutsy move Jack; calling the military a bunch of cold blooded killers before going under anesthesia in a miltary hospital! And if you think I am evil for speaking ill of the dead before he is even cold I have a few things I'd like to share:

La Hypocresia

So there's Obama and Calderon up there doing their version of "Dueling Banjo's," each trying to out platitude the other.  I noticed a few things that were, as usual, evidently lost on the media.
Calderon mentioned in his speech that they have done, and will continue to do all in their power to stem the tide of guns, drugs and money across the border. Do you notice anything distinctly absent from that sentence?

It Isnt Easy Being Green

So I am checking out potential hot new stock picks, and I come upon Solyndra, Inc.  Well, with all of the "Green" job fervor I am thinking that I may be on to something here.  Looking closer I am seeing some fascinating and promising details about the company.  Their website sure looks amazing. And hey, these guys are everywhere in the forefront of Green news. It seems everyone who is someone is endorsing, visiting, or doing photo-ops with them.  They have just built two huge new state-of-the-art solar-power factories. They have stated that they expect a 250% boost in capacity in the next year!
Wow! - but wait...theres more!

Deregulation For Dummies

Too Big To Fail - Squawk
Too Big To Fail - Squawk
Deregulation Bad - Squawk
Deregulation Bad - Squawk.
Polly want a cracker....

Listen you morons, do you want to commit the perfect murder, without leaving any trace? Just parrot the "deregulation is bad" nonsense in my presence one more time and I will probably drop over dead of an embolism on the spot. There is no such thing as "Deregulation." Deregulation is a slogan created to portray political enemies as allowing large companies to pour nuclear and toxic waste into rivers and kiddie pools, and greedy corporate fat cats to commit fraud on gargantuan scales, and throw the "little guys" from the parapets of their ivory towers over lunch just for fun.<!--more-->

Census Adventures

So there I am just minding my own business... and then... and then... Well I have long said for many years now, that Chief Joseph and I - "will fight no more forever." I have really been such a good compliant citizen for so any years now. Just as Billy Joel opined in his song; "I once believed in causes too. I had my pointless point of view. I found that just surviving... was a noble fight, da da deh..." So Chief Joseph, Billy, and I were henceforth determined to just "Let it be." And did our dear Federal government hold similar sentiments? Well as it turns out - Not so much.

Benisms:

Those who lack the courage to attempt the impossible may forever deny themeselves the knowledge of just how majestically they can fail...  (B. Owen 2011)

Who is braver? The optimist that believes he will eventually win through perseverence, and a little luck, or the man who marches stoically on to certain doom?

Optimism: Pathological ignorance of imminent doom. (B. Owen 2011)

We Can do this!"  - The phrase most often used to lead an army of well-meaning idiots to their deaths. (B. Owen 2011)

"There is nothing to fear but fear Itself!" - The phrase most often used to lure a bunch of half-wits that do not consider the factuality (or idiocy) of that statement to their doom.

"Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead." Credited to Admiral David Farragut during the civil war but actually coined by two others before him... who could not take credit because they were blown up.

So Bill O'Reilly was going on about the Superbowl Taco Bell commercial being disrespectful of the elderly. I have enclosed my reponse:

Bill,
Old idiots deserve no more respect than young idiots. They have just been stupid longer. I reserve my respect for the good and the wise: not for those who have been stupid longer than I have been alive.

All in this together

So I get this email that has been forwarded about a zillion times; Huge panic. Obama is going to give Social Security benefits to illegal aliens. And hey, why are they suddenly no longer "Undocumented Workers?" But I digress. So suddenly everyone is freaked out. Let's all play "sign the petition." yada yada... After all, Obama will certainly give in to public pressure. [tongue firmly in cheek.]
Soooo anyway, It's all a big hoax. There's no petition, No Social Security for illegal's, and according to the left, there aren't even any Illegal Aliens.

Irregardless of this [Yes I know that that is a double negative and not a real word but I like the way it sounds; kind of "extra-regardless.] so [r]egardless of these facts the frantic plea got the old juices flowing, and here was, and is, my response:

Anyone Lose A Bomb ?

So there's Eric Holder at the obligatory news conference telling us all about the car-bomb in Times Square. You've really gotta appreciate his ability to talk on and on without taking a position on anything. I am in constant awe of the seeming pinnacle of the evolution of the Yellow-bellied Ass-Covering Bureaucrat. [Beuaracratus-Slickious]  So Eric is going on about not being too hasty and jumping to any conclusions about the possibility of this being a terrorist event. Huh?<!--more--> What in the hell would a car-bomb left in probably the busiest public square on the planet be other than a terrorist plot? Does he think that someone accidentally misplaced their bomb?

Race Baiting

So the first black person I really knew was Tony. He was a total cliche. He was quite a bit taller than any of our classmates, and taller still with his large Afro. He was untouchable at basketball, and most sports for that matter. I didn't think much about his race, except that he was a rarity as the only black person in our school. We didn't call them African American's yet. I think we were just switching over from "Colored," to "Black" We still heard a few "nigger" jokes, but these were already mostly out of vogue and mostly spoken only in hushed tones. I was unaware of any great racial divide and I don't know if Tony had any special animus against whites.